Mourning: How to look after yourself

Mourning: How to look after yourself

Special Desk :    |    ০৬:১৪ পিএম, ২০২১-০৮-১১

We all experience grief or bereavement at some point in our lives, and sadly we all experience it at least once in our lifetime. During times like this, logic doesn't seem to work and it is difficult to stay composed.

In those moments, it is impossible to reconcile, to ever be able to cease to feel pain, and to fill the void left when someone close to us passes away. We must move on with our lives despite these circumstances.

Fortunately, there is an effective type of counselling known as Bereavement Counselling that can assist anyone grieving. It can become very helpful when someone's loss is too much to handle and it has become almost impossible to function normally for quite some time.

Deputy Manager (Counseling) at BRAC Migration Programme and Coordinator of Dr Anisur Rahman Clinical Psychology Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Saiara Subah says that this type of counselling helps the bereaved understand the grieving process as a whole.

The program helps us cope, identifies what factors may prevent us from moving forward, assists us to adjust to a 'new self' that no longer includes the person we have lost and addresses possible depression issues. The first six months' time is considered as 'grief period'. Usually, the pain starts to diminish with completing five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining depression and acceptance.

Psychological First Aid (PFA) is important during this period. People should be able to grieve as long as they need to. No one should ever be forced to 'come out' of mourning, as this hampers the healing process.

"Some want to say things out loud but do not do so thinking it may sound wrong or inappropriate to family members who are also grieving", said Saiara Subah. But you do not have to fear any such thing while speaking to a counsellor. Expressing thoughts and feelings about your relationship with your loved one can be a tremendous relief.

Losing a loved one scars us and as they say, scars never heal. But the scar may fade with time. We never actually stop mourning over the person we lost. Instead we learn to live with the bitter fact. And bereavement counselling, along with the support of friends and family, helps with the process.